Sum it up.

For my final post I thought it would be a great idea to sum up the inside look in to my life with ADD. Negative stigmas almost held me back from achieving what I was capable of achieving. But with this risk factor I learned to stand on my own two feet and stand up for myself and what I know to be true. This will end up being a major protective factor for me as I go through my life course. As many of y'all can tell with my screen name Yes I am a republican and this will make me a minority in this field. However, because I have already learned to cope and deal with being an outsider I will be able to stand up straight and move forward in this field. As for the distractions this is not something that I have not dealt with my whole life and will continue to struggle with for the rest of my life. The risk factor for this problem would be that most employers do not want to deal with having to make accommodations for me. This is hard to believe knowing what field I am working in but it is a fact of life that I hope this will change in the future. I know that the place where I am currently working does not want to give me my accommodations but then reprimands me for getting behind in my paperwork. But how can an individual who has ADD and is so easily distracted complete their work when there is no set schedule for seeing clients and doing paperwork. As far as the doctor problem I hope to find a psychiatrist who is willing to accept new patients. There are not enough doctors who are willing and able to treat adults with learning disorders are stretched to thin. This is a major risk fact for individuals who have a disability. The anxiety and depression that comes along with ADD has not been researched enough and how the medications for ADD affects these problems. I hope that those of you who bothered to read my blogs and leave a comment learned a little bit about the daily difficulties adults with ADD go through. Most adults take vacations to get away from their stress and frustrations but adults with disabilities even when on vacations still carry these stresses with them. By not being able to get away from themselves depression and suicide become major risk factors for adults with ADD. These adults often do not have anybody to vent to because unless you have this disorder you will never completely know what it is truly like. The majority of society has a negative view on this problem and think that adults with ADD use this as an excuse for not accomplishing things. Or they will think that they should just take some medication and get over it. Either way you are stuck in your own world wishing that you were just normal. It is hard to live as an outsider and even more difficult to learn who to talk to about the stresses from your illness. My hope for all who read my blogs is for all of the future social workers to have a better insight into some of the life course problems with this disorder. I hope that everybody has a great Thanksgiving and a wonderful Christmas. See y'all next year...

Medication vs. no Medications that is the question???

There are several different forms of medications for the treatment of ADD. After weighing the facts it really comes down do if you want to put up with the side affects. Yes taking the medications makes it allot easier to function at work and school but it does not come with out risk. The most common medication is Ritalin. This is the medication that I was on from the beginning until it was just to much so I stopped in high school. The main problem with trying to go it alone with out medication is your professors and your employers have to be extremely patient. It is sad to say that this is not always the case. Some side affects from most ADD medications are as follows Dizziness; headache; loss of appetite; nausea; nervousness; stomach pain; trouble sleeping. One more uncommon side affect is depression. This is a problem that I faced once I discontinued my medications. The loss of appetite is probably the most common side affect. The one thing that the drug company does not inform the users of the medications is the impending crash that comes at the end of the day. Most individuals take the medication by 8am and by 6 or 7pm there is a huge crash in you energy. This problem is similar to being stuck between a rock and a hard place. When making the decision you are faced with have large problems with focusing and other symptoms or take the medication and face the side affects from the medication. This is a difficult decision for an adult but an even more difficult decision for parents to decide for their children. Yes more children are being diagnosed then in previous years but there has been a direct link between ADD/ADHD and to much TV and video game use. With the majority of American children spending their days in front of a TV or playing video games there will be an increase in ADD/ADHD and childhood obesity.

Can I find a Doctor please...

My biggest frustration this week has been trying to find a doctor to treat my ADD. I was seeing a Neurologist but he is no longer treating this disorder. He gave me a number and a name for another doctor but when I called the doctor was no longer excepting new clients. When I was a child my pediatrician would give me my Rx for the medication that I needed to slow down enough to focus on the task at hand. Now my PCP or my Neurologist are willing to treat me for this disorder. I was able to find one doctor who is willing to right a Rx for me but after talking to his nurse he seems to be one of those Rx happy doctors who will write for anything. I have never had an addiction issue and have always taken my medication as prescribed. However, I work with addicts every day and refuse to see a doctor who does not care for his patients. I have all the documentation needed to prove that I have ADD but I can not seem to find a doctor willing to treat an adult with ADD. I wonder if other adults with ADD have this issue as well. I know that in a city as large as Mobile, AL I can not be the only one having trouble. If this was any other disorder it would be easy to find a doctor willing to treat you. So how come when you have the correct documentation for having ADD it is like you have some contagious disease that if the doctor treats you they will catch it. Yes it is possible for me to live with out having medication to help me focus but between school and work I need to be able to focus and pay attention to my reading assignments and all paper work. All of this is extremely frustrating to me and hope that I can find a solution before spring semester begins.

Losing my mind.

One common problem that adults have when struggling with ADD is forgetting items such as your keys and books. This is a major problem for me and has always been a problem stemming from my childhood. I would often receive something like money and then hide this item from my sisters. It was common that I would lose this item and be unable to find it sometimes for years. After a deep cleaning I would find money hidden in several locations. This forgetfulness can be stressful at times. There has been times where I have also allowed people to borrow items from me and then would forget that I have loaned out these items and later would look for them but not remembering that I had loaned them out. Have you ever lost your keys or an important document? Most of you will say yes, this happens to me on a daily basis. It is not uncommon that an adult with ADD will lose something at home or at work at any given time. The stress with losing stuff at work especially when you are working with clients. At times I feel like I am losing my mind. Putting items up in places where I feel that they belong but later not being able to locate these items. Organization is a must for adults with ADD. For example, at my office I have a place to put items needing to be dealt with that day, a to be filed pile, a system for organizing my charts, and a pile for discharged charts. By having this organization system in place I often find myself being able to find items at any given time. This is a major coping skill for people living with ADD. By straying away from my system it can only take one day for it all to fall apart. Living with ADD is difficult at times but it can be manageable if the individual has learned the correct coping techniques. Some of the common coping techniques can be organization of documents and items, list, goal planning, and finding a quite and peaceful location to do your work. With not having these coping techniques high stress levels will be common place. In closing this is off subject but it is related to stress. I found out Tuesday night the my uncle has stage two cancer and will be having surgery with in the next month. He does not live here any more but he is the only uncle that I have ever had that has been a positive role model in my life. This issue has caused a great deal of stress for me mainly because I will not have the time with work and school to go and see him before the surgery. The accumulating stress can cause a problem with anxiety witch is another symptom of ADD and was discussed in a previous blog.

Anxiety and ADD

Anxiety and ADD are often linked. Unfortunately I have both. As discussed in my other blogs because ADD often causes a person to forget and lose track of basic task when coupled with an anxiety disorder it amplifies the number of attacks. During an attack it can often feel like a hearth attack and can lead to having a black out. The stress of dealing with side affects with ADD is often the cause of anxiety attacks. Other stressors can include but not exclude the following school, work, and family affairs. These things are often not a problem when dealing with them one on one. However, since adults with ADD often forget about details things often get place on the back burner. When these things build up it creates a large increase in anxiety. While trying to find a balance between work and school it is often over whelming when dealing with my family obligations. In my case I am no longer on medication for my ADD due to the only medication that my doctor is willing to prescribe for his patients does not work for me. This means that I have to continue to attempt to balance my school work, job, and my husbands failing health. At times I find myself experiencing shortness of breath, chest pain, and the occasional black outs. Because to the addictive nature of benzo’s I choose not to receive treatment. On the upside if a person has learned the correct coping techniques a person can be able to deal with the anxiety problem with out medication. Learning how to allot your time and spread your task out over an extended time allows you to take on one task at a time. By not overwhelming yourself you run a lower risk of having an anxiety attack.

Oops maybe I should have thought about that....

Being implosive can be frustrating at times. Take for instant what my undergraduate degree was in. That is not what I starting out majoring but I started hanging out with allot of guys in the DEA so with out thinking about it I went from early education to criminal justice. I do not regret my major but I should have but more thought and effort into it. May people with ADD suffer from being implosive. This causes them to make rash decisions while putting little to no thought into the decision. This can affect them at home, work, and even in their love lives. At home they will often think about doing something like starting a burn pile outside but then not consider the fact that the wind is blowing to hard. In the personal life it can affect many things such as relationships, finances, and other issue. Many people find it hard enough to be in a relationship but when your divisions in that relationship are not thought out clearly then it can have serious consequences. As far as finances the impulsivety affects your life greatly. You go shopping and finding something that is nice but that you do not need. I can not tell you how many times I have gone shopping for one thing but will come home with everything but what I went for. Over half the stuff I do not need or will use. It just sounded good while I was there. Yes while in school I learned coping techniques but they do not all ways work. Medication helps the brain slow down enough to begin thinking clearly but if the person does not like the side affects or in my case the doctor treating you does not believe in giving medication for ADD then you face the decisions of whether to go to a doctor who over prescribes medication or just try and cope with the affects of being unmediated.

Am I forgetting something?

One of the most frustrating things about living with ADD is constantly forgetting things. I have to make several list just to keep up with what all is needed. For an example I have three list just at work so that I get all of my paperwork done on time. Or I will go to do something and get there and completely forget what I went there to do. Lack of concentration and losing focus on task is common with Adults with ADD. Yes we have learned to cope and deal with these problems but that does not make them less frustrating. I get tired of making list and will often try to do with out even though I know that I will end up forgetting something. If you can imagine having to make a list for everything that you do in your life household choirs (cleaning, laundry), grocery list, errands that need to be ran, and anything that is needed at work. It takes an extra hour a day to make the list and it gets tiring. Once you get fed up with so many list you attempt to go with out them and you end up spending more time trying to remember what you forgot or trying to play catch up then it would have been just making the stupid list. With work related stuff it is hard to find an employer that is willing to work with you to accomplish the task at hand. Most people need their task written down and explained so that they do not forget what to do and how to do it. If it is only verbalized then they will forget the details of the task at hand. Even when you work in a field that should understand this simple accommodation they often do not want to be bothered with it. For example, I work as a counselor at a drug rehab. clinic and all my coworkers have a B.S. or M.S. in a social science related field but my supervisor told me something last week that he needed me to do. On a normal day this would have been fine but he told me while I was in the middle of doing another task and he failed to write it down even though I have told him that I need stuff in writing. Well I forgot that he had even asked me to do this task and was reprimanded for it today. Once again you would expect a therapist who had to study ADD to understand the accommodations needed for an employee but it often does not happen. This is the primary reason why many children with this disorder do not accomplish much in the employment market. You find them working on cars, working fast food, waiting tables, and other jobs like this. For me I choose to rise against my issues and force myself to accomplish what I have been told is impossible. I advocate for myself and will tell my employer, my professors, and friends/family about my disability and what accommodations that I will need to succeed. I really hope that in the future that more employer's will understand and be willing to make the correct accommodations.

Up the Hill Again.

The most common mistake that most people make is the fact that a child with ADD or ADHD will out grow this disorder. Even educated people make this problem. Take college for example. Even though these children have been tested in order to be admitted into special education programs we require them to be retested in order to receive any accommodations in college. But you would think that this would be the last time that they would be tested but no every four years they are required to be retested. These are not small test they can last upwards of 3 plus hours. While I was attending Troy State they required one type of exam in order to give me the accommodations required by the government but while attending the University of Alabama I am required to retake a different test plus get a note from my doctor in order to receive my accommodations. This would be easy to do if I didn't have a new job were I can not take off any time and then having to go to my second job. This is one of the most difficult misconceptions that people with ADD encounter on a daily basis. But that was not the hardest hill that we must always climb. The largest hill is the one in which people believe that his disorder does not exist. This causes problems within families, peers, and on into romantic relationships. Growing up you are always compared to the children who do not have to leave the room for special classes. This brings up the subject among peers. Some of them are not correctly informed or their parents do not believe in the disorder simply stating "that is just a made up condition to increase profits for the drug companies". This creates a division among the individual with ADD and their peers. When a child is born into a family one parent may have a problem accepting the diagnosis or even the treatment. For example I have no problems with treating this disorder with medication if need be but my husband will not stand for it. If we ever have a child with this problem then there may be a major problem. However, the most difficult one to deal with while dealing with all of the situations is the one where you find yourself in love and the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with tells you that ADD does not exist and that is just an excuse for people who are lazy. This happened to me and it broke my heart to have to break up with the man I thought was the man of my dreams. Because how could I marry a person who can not accept me for who I am. From personal experiences I can tell you that a person leaving with ADD feels like they are always climbing up a never ending hill. This is one thing as future Social Workers that we all need to understand is that the children that we will be serving will not only have problems due to abuse or neglect but they may have ADD and no matter what your personal feelings are that you must understand that these children need their social worker to understand that their daily lives are made more difficult because of their disability. With the correct mentors and guidance to support you any child with ADD can conquer these hills successfully.

Day Dreaming

Distractions are a major challenge in the life of an adult suffering from ADD. This was once was referred to as day dreaming. These distractions can affect a persons personal and professional life. A simple task that most people are able to complete in a short amount of time may take some one with ADD up to twice as long to complete. This is primarily due to the amount of distractions that are taking place at any given time. Most people do not realize the amount of outside interference that takes place with in one work hour. The slightest thing can easily distract an ADD sufferer for a short or long period of time. For example if I leave my office door open just the passing of a coworker or a client can distract me from my current task. As a counselor the largest problem that I encounter is while in session having the phone ring. This usually always distracts me from what my client is trying to convey to me. Ironically in modern day society most employers are unable or unwilling to make basic accommodations for an individual with ADD. This has been my personal work experience based on several different jobs in the past ten years. The feeling of constantly being over whelmed due to the enormous amount of paper work can become very draining for some sufferers of adult ADD. The largest problem that I have found is the new stance that the school systems are taking nation wide. Children who use to be in special needs classes to help the learn the coping skills to deal with their ADD or ADHD are no longer in inclusions classes but made to attempt to learn these skills surrounded by their peers. The major problem with this current policy is that a child that is distracted my a pencil falling will not be able to focus long enough to do his class work and learn these skills at the same time. By working in the school system for over a year it is obvious that this is not a functioning system. Yes these children are intelligent enough to do the same assignments as their peers but they are not leaning the coping skills that they will need for the work force or to attend college successfully. There will be an increase in adults with ADD who are unable to function in the current work force due to the lack of coping skills. Distractions aka day dreams are a very challenging and intricate part of a typical day in the life of an adult suffering from ADD. Many people think that it is easier for these people to take medication for this problem however, the side effects from most medication for ADD has extreme side affects and is often not worth the trade off. One of the biggest difficulties is when a person goes to do a certain task but gets sidetracked and then will often forget what they intended to do in the beginning. This can become a major problem depending of the type of work that a the person with ADD is currently preforming. Distractions are around at all times but usually are not a problem but remember what you may not notice the person with ADD usually will.

Neg. Stigma

This topic is very personal to me seeing that I have been diagnosed since my second grade year. As an adult with ADD there are all new sigma's that come along with this issue. The most important one is the misbelief that ADD is something that you out grow. This is incorrect however I have to continue to put myself through retesting and have to provide new documentation every 4 years to continue to receive the adaptive needs for my college classes. It is also hard because some people or even some professors do not believe that this is a true disorder. I suffer from this problem daily and have to constantly remind myself the coping techniques that I have learned through the years. Because of the retesting and the medications needed the extra expense of keeping up with this disorder can become costly. The negative stigma attached to ADD has cost me myself esteem, and several relationships due to the friends and or family who does not understand this disorder. Most people do not realize the emotional stress caused by the stigma attached by society. Growing up and even as an adult with ADD you are made to feel like an outsider because you are ashamed of many of the daily problems that you may encounter. For example my spelling is not at the same level as my vocabulary so I often do poor on written exams or just feel to ashamed to even write detailed notes at work. This is just one example of the fear that all adults with ADD have because of the negative stigmas that society has placed on these individuals. The most horrific thing that I have witnessed due to the negative stigma's is the fact that most teenagers are not encouraged by their peers, teachers, or parents to pursue further education. I graduated with 6 students who were ADD or ADHD and 2 of us went on to Jr. college and graduated and I am the only one who obtained a B.S\B.A. degree and the only one who went to graduate school. The other students allowed for the stigma to prohibit them from believing that they were capable of graduating from college. I was lucky and had my family who believed in me and refused to allow me to settle for less than my true potential. I also have a cousin who has ADHD and went on graduate with his B.S. and then his M.S.